Sarina “Sparagoose” Hanfling

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“In the trippy and far away islands of the DMV (DC, Maryland, and Virginia) there existed in the middle of these three islands, an actual DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) with a huge volcano sprouting from it. Each year, to appease the gods, residents of the three islands had to offer gifts by dropping them into the volcano. During this time, the DC residents offered birds, the Maryland residents offered vegetables, and the Virginia residents offered really dope socks. After the offerings were dropped into the volcano the volcano erupted. Out of the volcano erupted thousands of long, green plants with bird wings and cool sock designs on their bodies.

Some of these winged plants were able to fly while others could not and fell into the ocean.
The ones that were able to fly were considered better than the ones that could not by the islands’ residents. One of these unfortunate, couldn’t fly plants swam her way to each one these islands, and at each one she was rejected. It was then that she decided that she would be the best swimmer of the winged plants and then gain the love and respect of the islands’ residents. She swam everyday and every night (she used her wings as fins lmao), to the point where she almost replaced Ryan Lochte on the US Swim Team. The islands’ residents still did not care.

So she decided to swim the length of the east coast and back in order to impress the residents. Throughout her journey, the young winged plant braved many storms, pirates, and hungry C-Gulls and Trouts. She eventually got tired and stopped in Boston’s Chinatown and decided to eat some Chinese food. She ordered a rice bowl and was given chopsticks to eat with. The winged plant soon realized that she had a knack for using the sticks as she ate her rice with ease. After finishing her food, she noticed a poster inside the restaurant of a famous drummer by the name of Goose Meyer who had recently joined a nearby drumming group by the name of BEATs. The plant then took her chopsticks and started drumming on the table, enjoying the sounds she was making. It was at that moment that the winged plant decided to change her passion from swimming to drumming.

She started drumming everywhere in the restaurant. She somehow made her way into the back
where the chefs were cooking geese. The winged plant started drumming on one of the
unused geese which caused one of the chefs to scream “This plant is trying to eat a spare
goose!¿!” The winged plant made a run for it with the spare goose and the Goose Meyer poster as the chefs were driving her out the restaurant, threatening to cook her. It was after this incident that the plant decided to adopt the name Sparagoose (goose for short) after her newfound favorite instrument and her idol. Burning with passion from the incident at the restaurant and the lack of love from the island residents, Sparagoose made her way to Medford/Somerville and joined the group BEATs to play with her idol and finally spread her wings.”