The beginnings of the tale of the Faux Gnome are shrouded in mystery…
Some say that he willed himself into being, fully formed, from the mind of a Mongolian holy man…
Others tell that the mother goddess gave the gifts of compassion, the full moon, and the Faux Gnome as a dowry for her daughter to the prince of the waters…
Yet others contend that a skinny cross-dressing freshman hooked up with a girl in the dirty, unlit alley behind a party at BU…
Although the truth may never come to light, the light of the Faux Gnome’s rhythms will one day bring truth to us all…