Kit “Pbls” Collins

In 1993, Pbls’ mother, in an attempt to recreate a scene from her favorite movie The Prince of Egypt, sent poor Pbls floating down the Nile river in a straw basket. The orphaned Pbls floated the entire length of the river until she was discovered by a curious Mukandan tribeswoman who hoped the baby would prove a useful subject on which to practice her witchcraft. After years of failed attempts, the tribeswoman finally perfected her spell and performed it on young Pbls, robbing Pbls of her ability to pronounce vowels. Because of this, Pbls lived a life of isolation. Her vowellessness, however, eventually lead her to discover her inner rhythm and learn to communicate with others through intense banging.

Upon her newfound revelation, Pbls decided it was time to venture away from her African homeland and discover something new. She built a small wooden raft and drifted across the Atlantic ocean to a strange place known as upstate New York. There Pbls thrived, banging everything in sight. It was there that she also founded the National Association for the Advancement of Vowellessness (NAAV), which still retains a strong presence among equal rights organizations today. Eventually, Pbls found her true home among a group of fellow bangers who accepted her for who she was and praised her for her ridiculous ability to bang.